I sometimes tell people the happiest moment in my life was one weekday night in January of 1985. A deep snow had fallen, and our little family of three loved one another in our Milwaukee apartment.
Daniele was 6 months old, and while I adored her because it was my job to, it was across a vast separation of years and outlook. We did not really share anything, mind to mind, and we could not really tell one another anything.
Still, we played. One game was sliding a rolled up athletic sock back and forth in the Milwaukee apartment hallway. Daniele got it immediately, and slid it back to me, which I loved.
Then, I did something odd - I pretended I was Rollie Fingers, the mustachioed relief pitcher, and wound up in an exaggerated "roundhouse curve" motion - and flung the ball right at her.
The moment I let go, I thought, my God, man, you just whipped a solid object in the direction of your baby daughter!
But the ball hit her in the chest and fell harmlessly to the floor. But the great part was, Daniele started laughing.
Oh, you should have heard that laugh - it was sensible and silly and totally powerful. She got it!
She got that it was hilarious for me to pretend to be this comical pitching person. She got that the ball was supposed to suggest great personal harm. She got that it was all a joke, and that it was very, very funny.
And she loved me for making her laugh.
I stared at her and my heart almost burst with the realization that anything I would ever throw at her, Daniele was smart enough, and wise enough, to handle.
I think in that stupid, silly moment, I realized with a loud crash how connected we would be all our lives together. Our souls were stitched together like the heel of that old sock.
Daniele and I lived together a few years ago. She was my roommate, but also my best friend.
After I graduated from college I had split up w/ my highschool boyfriend of 7 years. I was depressed, and after the graduation ceremony I didn't shower or change out of my pajamas for an entire week.
After the 5th day or so Daniele kicked me and said "Hey you...yeah stinky...I'm talkin' to you. You need to get up and take a shower, take off the sweatpants and we're going to the bar."
Well, I still didn't want to leave the house. I was wallowing in self-pity among other thing so, we decided to put on a movie instead.
We had 2 laptop computers in the house at the time. We sat side by side surfing the 'net. I saw she was in a chatroom and asked her which chat room she was in.
Once I found out I promptly made a fake profile for this famous guitar player she had a huge crush on-complete with photos. All the while still sitting next to her.
I went into the chat room she was in and IM'd her and said "Hey. You look like the only cool person in here punkergrly. Wanna chat?"
Sitting next to her I could see her checking out my new profile and answering my IM.
"OMG. You'll never guess who I'm talking to online right now!" she says
"Who's that?" I would say...trying so hard to keep a straight face.
She enthusiastically showed me the chat so far and his profile.
"Whoa...that's totally insane! What are the chances of that??"
So this whole scenario went for another 15 mins or so. Daniele would type something into her chat box. I would sit next to her and try so hard not to laugh as I would type on my laptop almost immediately after her, waiting for her to catch on. (cont.)
Finally, amazed (as witty and sharp as she was) that I think I finally pulled a fast one over on Daniele, I told her the truth.
I let her know that it was me she was talking to the whole time.
She didn't get it. Not at first.
But I showed her my computer screen and when the realization that I just pulled a class act dupe over on her set in...she got this crazy look of realization in her eyes.
"OMG. You're a JERK! I think it's time for you to get out of the house now!"
She then proceeded to jump on me and pull me out of the apartment by my sweatpants while we laughed and giggled and wrestled and screamed our way all the way into the hallway.
She then jumped back into the apartment as fast as a cat and tried to push the door shut on me.
We caused quite a scene as she tried to keep me out, and I tried to push myself back in.
We laughed so hard we both thought we would faint.
I told her I couldn't be seen in these pants. Not even in the hallway of our low-income housing building where we were the only unit that spoke English. She would tell me she didn't care and I deserved to be seen in my ugly pants by Somalian immigrants after what I did to her.
Finally, I pushed my way back into the apartment, and we ended up on the floor of the living room crying and laughing until we thought we had the worlds worst headaches from lack of oxygen to our brains.
Well, you could say that got me out of my slump.
D. was always there to make me laugh when I needed her, and I'd like to think the relationship was mutual. Some of the best times of my life were spent in that little apartment w/ her.
I'll post some more about our crazy roommate debaucles. There's just so many.
Coming up next...axe parties, police, hardcore cider, and slayer.
Daniele is one of the most prominently featured characters in my childhood. I remember "swimming" in the GIANT pile of leaves in the backyard. There was one Halloween where we said "trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat, if you don't I don't care, I'll pull down your underwear," to every house in a 4-block radius. We tried to make a hopscotch that went all the way around the block, and ran out of chalk. Daniele asked her mom once if I could spend the night for the second night in a row, and Rachel said, "y'now, she's been here for over 24 hours...I think her family misses her." I probably spent as much time at her house as I did at my own.
I'm sorry that we lost touch after my family moved out of the neighborhood, but I feel priveledged to have been part of her life.
I didn't know Daniele very well. We lived a few doors down, and I was out of the house and in college before I even saw her around much.
I remember showing up at the tea store she used to work at, which must have been around 2003, buying a bubble tea and being struck by how easy she was to talk to. She asked lots of questions, made me feel very comfortable and at ease. I frankly expected that a conversation with someone 10 years younger than me would kind of be the other way around. She had a strong presence, but it felt effortless, not affected.
I won't pretend to have known her. I wish I'd known her better.
You made her so happy that day that she bawled like a baby, Renee, and Jon. Few people crossed the line the way you did to show your love and acceptance. She did not feel worthy of that.
Daniele was a great friend to me. Anytime I needed her, she was there. We had a lot of laughs together. For the last 3 years she's been at my house for every holiday. It's not going to be the same without her. I will miss her.
Its hard for me to pick one specific story about Daniele. Whether it was Halloween, her fabulous birthday parties or trips to the dog park with Zeppo, there was never a bad time. I loved that fact that I could see Daniele whenever I was out, especially in uptown. She's the person that whenever I would see her we would run to each other, big hugs, smiles and laughs. I'd go for dinner at The Uptown or brunch at Luce to just be around her. No matter what was going on in either of our lives there was happiness being around each other. She's one of the only friends I have that I can say that about. There is hardly a place in Minneapolis that doesn't contain a memory of her. Of some random fun excursion or just somewhere I was so elated to see her at when I arrived. Knowing there were places I could go and be assured she'd be there was so comforting. She was there for me just for being her, and I'm not sure that she realized what it meant. There's not enough to say about how great she was to me, to everyone. There is so much in her I want to be. The way she speaks her mind, her incredible wit and ability to make everyone laugh. It is simply everything that is Daniele, and I can't think of a person that wasn't bettered by being friends with her. Its hard to imagine Minneapolis, and the world, without Daniele.
Daniele was an amazing person. She was always there for me, and could always brighten up my day. My fondest memories were of all us hanging out by the river. Just relaxing and loving life. I always admired her free, kind spirit. I have a lot of stories, but my mind is swimming with them, so it's hard to seperate them at the moment. ill write more later=) Thank you Mike and Rachel for letting us share our stories, and I loved your stories, it was vivid and made me smile=)
I first met Daniele on line. Her online name was Qwerty. Then I met her when she was with Berni.
After a year or so I went to watch Rev Phil play with a bunch of my friends at club underground.
During the evening I came up behind her thinking she was a friend of mine and swatted her on the but. She turned around and neither one of us recognized each other. She looked as if she was ready to kill me. (As she should have) I tried to explain but it was to late. The damage had been done. So I just got the hell out of that area.
As the night went on I had more then one friend that I had known for over twenty years or so come up and tell me they were supposed to kick my ass. We laughed but and I went back to her to apologize again and explained this is how my friends and I messed around and that I was married and nothing sexual was intended. But still. It was to late.
After talking to her online and numerous friends talking to her she finally decided that I was OK and I received forgiveness. I then brought the wife to Pizza Luce for breakfast so I could see her again and make sure I was on her good side once again. She was so nice to us and treated us so well.
She is a very strong individual and she will be missed. My best wishes to her family and all her friends. (Many of which are the same as mine)
She gave great hugs. I worked with her at Uptown Bar. I had a class right after work every Wed and it was very tight on the timing. She always got there early and offered to take care of everything so that I could leave with enough time to get to class. Her praise of my musical endevours is the one I cherish most. She saw many bands and of those many bands she told me we were her favorite in the time she worked at Uptown. Thank you for being so humorous, kind, and above all, supportive.
I met her through a local punk site where she needed a tap for a keg, I had one so I let her use it. She drove a distinct green caravan or voyager van. I was surprized when she returned the tap because people seldom do. She cracked me up. When she needed another car, I sold her one on paymenst and she never messed up a payment. She was cool and way too young and full of potential to be gone yesterday. It's sad. Andrew A. aka Bo
I have a guinea pig named Linus, and I'm 52 years old. Linus is the third guinea pig I've had, after Burley, and after Alfalfa. These predecessors are the result of Danielle's guinea pig, Bomba. Because Danielle owned Bomba when she was roughly 9 years old, and I was elected to babysit Bomba while Danielle went on vacation with her family, I rekindled the love I had for my childhood guinea pig, "Charlie Brown",( whom I had wanted to name Tickleheart, but my mother wouldn't let me.) The experience of babysitting Danielle's guinea pig when I was around 35, and living in St. Paul, led to the enjoyment of the guinea pigs I've had since moving to Pennsylvania. Danielle, as her nine year old self so frequently comes to mind every time I hold Linus. I owe a very soothing and stress reducing part of my daily routine to Danielle Finley. I will think of her every day for the rest of my life.
I wish I had a story or a memory, but I feel I have a real and heartbreaking sense of your loss --and the lovely, lively girl you lost-- through the words of everyone here. Especially you, Mike. Thank you for sharing, and my heart goes out to all of you. As one of my personal heroes, Jim Dickinson, who was also lost to the world in the last week, liked to say, "Take care of yourself. And if you can, take care of someone else." I send you strength and love.
i have to admit, she did give great hugs. i met Daniele about 6 years ago and we we're fast pals. dumb parties and foggy remembrances. honestly. if the parties were less fun, i'd have a lot more to write. i just don't remember a lot of the specifics. well, i remember some. i remember how she would show up at my door in the middle of the night knowing i'd be awake and we'd have a drink and talk for hours. i remember her chipping my tooth-- and I remember that fondly. i remember her being a hell of a friend that i sincerely regret falling out of contact with-- it deeply saddens me to think i didn't chat with her more when i could have. you never know when the days are being counted down.
and big thanks to her parents for making this forum possible. she really loved you guys. she told me that often. your loss is shared by far more than who post here. thank you.
I think the thing I loved best was running into Daniele by chance. She'd say hi or I'd say hi and she always got this "Awwww shucks" look on her face and look away. As if I'd paid her an extravagant compliment by knowing her. Then she'd turn back with a big smile on her face and a sarcastic comment about something and we'd be off. And I never saw Daniele for a few minutes we always talked for hours.
I was looking back through my texts with her and I found an exchange...I asked her what she'd done the day before and she said "Went for a walk and grabbed some beers with my dad...it was sweet." I don't remember anyone else ever describing hanging out with a parent as "sweet".
When I was down, Daniele was about the only person in my life I could count on to hang out with me and cheer me up. And I tried to cheer her up too. And I told her how important she was to me. I hope she believed me.
I put a drink on the board at Triple Rock for her once and she texted me "I'm considering drinking the shot on the board" "On the one hand I would like a delicious shot, on the other, I feel popular with my name on the board." More than anything else in the world, I'd like to get one more of her hugs. She gave hugs like a little kid...giving and getting candy at the same time. I love her.
I met daniele through Roy. The first time I really talked to her I was sitting with Roy and she came up to me and said " hey, lets go outside for a min." She then proceded to tell me that she liked me and didn't want to kick my ass. She said her and Roy were no longer dating, but any girl that got to close was gonna get a beat down. I understood how she felt. Daniele and i contuned to talk the rest of the night. From then on it was always good to see her with smiles and hugs. She will be missed...
I met Daniele through my younger brother in 1999 or 2000, she came to the tattoo shop by ex and I owned back then on Grand Avenue in Saint Paul...She did not get any tattoos (WAY to young then) but like so many of the teens, she liked looking at the stuff we sold and just hanging out...I left Minnesota to move to Massachusetts to do my Ph.D. in 2000 and she was at our going away party...I would not see her again until 2005 when I came back to live in Minnesota for a year as a visiting professor...We had some great times that year and stayed in contact first via myspace and then via facebook...She was witty and pure and fun and honourable and the world was better for her being in it...I will miss her!
I knew Daniele thru friends back in '99-'00, I used to call her 2-tone, her hair was always "2-tone" :)
When we started hanging out, I began to realize how artistic, creative, and just how authentic of a person she was...you don't find that in many people!! She will definitely be missed...
My fondest memory is, on Thanksgiving, several years ago, my daughter and I came over to celebrate...we ate cheesy potatoes, and remembered how much shit I gave her back in the day. She is such a forgiving, and positive person, I, to this day, will forever remember that lesson that she, unknowingly passed on to me.
But...I was always mad that she didn't have 2 L's in her name like mine, that just wasn't right!!
I met Daniele at the TCPunk bookclub...she reminded me so much of how I was when I was her age...and I told her that...we made a connection...I drove her home that night...she showed me her apt. and wanted me to help her decorate it and gave me a book that she insisted I read..."The Princess Bride"...she couldn't believe that I had never read the book...She thought my grey cat's name was cool, so she named her dog after my Zeppo...I was hoping to see her again...mostly my fault for not being able to go out of my house...
A parent should not have to bury their child...I'm sorry for her family...my heart and deepest sympathies go out to all of you who have been touched by her life...
Thought I only knew Daniele through my son Tommy who lived with her on Lyndale Avenue a few years back Daniele’s spirit will live on, for we had the great fortune to adopt her cat Lucy. Like Daniele, Lucy brings a lot of Love to this world. Marjorie-Lee Hane
Today is the day of Daniele’s funeral. I am twenty five years old. She was twenty four. I met her at a party, she was just my kind of girl. I was eighteen, and had just broken up with my first serious girlfriend. Daniele was dark and loud and funny, and very, very, bright. I was drawn to her from across the room and introduced myself by saying,” I hate you.” All I can remember about our conversation that first night is how charming she was, and how much that got on my nerves. I was young and drunk and hurt, and angry at her, because she reminded me of the girl that broke my heart. As the party wound down, and everyone left or passed out, our conversation continued until it was just the two of us alone. Surrounded by party casualties and lost in each others company, we kissed. It was as sweet and innocent as two horribly torn, emotionally disfigured teenagers could have made it. We kissed and bit, mostly she bit. In my young drunk mind, she and my ex were one. I ended up making a fool of myself, and hurt her feelings. We laughed it off, and kissed some more. For the next several weeks we would be inseparable. The next days that followed were a blur of stranger’s studio apartments, wandering the streets of Minneapolis, speed, reptiles, the sudden appearance of a new used car, a girl punk rampage through the freshman dorms, and strange lingering feelings of a soon to be repeating past. From those days one memory stands alone as one of my most treasured. A night spent listening to old jazz records in the dark while the summer breeze whispered through the open windows. I am an atheist, but in the stillness of those moments I felt god. I hope now that she finds the peace in death that I felt being alive with her in her room that night. I helped her move out of her parents’ home and into her first apartment. She invited me to a party near her new place. We went, I got drunk. Much too drunk. I guess that I still resented women who I liked, because I spent most of the party chatting up some other girl. A girl who taught me French while I lost myself in drink. By the end of the party I was staggering around muttering broken French. Daniele had, most sensibly, left. She realized about seven years before I did that I had decided to make an ass out of myself that night. Years later we talked about it, and I found out that that night was the end of our romance. At the time I had tried to make it up to her with some flowers and a pack of Camel Wides. Looking back I see how that would never have been enough. She deserved better from me. Two days later I got cancer, and she felt really awkward about dumping me. We always joked about that. Not in the ribbing way of rehashing old wounds, or gently recalling slights against one another. It was the wisdom and perspective of deep old pains, old soldiers telling war stories, that would bring us to tears laughing. She saw all of my bullshit for what it was. She called me on it. And she loved me anyway. She was a true friend, and I will miss her. In life and in death she has taught me so much about love and respect. I wish that she could be here, and I will do my best to try to honor her memory. One day at a time.
"Last Weds I went to the CC Club and I asked this guy next to me if he would toast Daniele. And he knew her and toasted her with water (because he had stopped drinking) and so did the bartender and I sipped my drink and put my head down on the bar and sobbed. And this guy I barely knew put his arm around me and held me until I was done.
"There is nothing in this world like the kindness of strangers - except of course the kindness of friends."
I never knew Daniele, but I did have one or two very brief encounters with her father years ago. A mutual friend named Barry told me of her passing. She deserved, obviously, a much longer chance than she allowed herself, and my sincere condolences to ALL her family members and to her friends. -- James Naiden 2012 Minneapolis
I sometimes tell people the happiest moment in my life was one weekday night in January of 1985. A deep snow had fallen, and our little family of three loved one another in our Milwaukee apartment.
ReplyDeleteDaniele was 6 months old, and while I adored her because it was my job to, it was across a vast separation of years and outlook. We did not really share anything, mind to mind, and we could not really tell one another anything.
Still, we played. One game was sliding a rolled up athletic sock back and forth in the Milwaukee apartment hallway. Daniele got it immediately, and slid it back to me, which I loved.
Then, I did something odd - I pretended I was Rollie Fingers, the mustachioed relief pitcher, and wound up in an exaggerated "roundhouse curve" motion - and flung the ball right at her.
The moment I let go, I thought, my God, man, you just whipped a solid object in the direction of your baby daughter!
But the ball hit her in the chest and fell harmlessly to the floor. But the great part was, Daniele started laughing.
Oh, you should have heard that laugh - it was sensible and silly and totally powerful. She got it!
She got that it was hilarious for me to pretend to be this comical pitching person. She got that the ball was supposed to suggest great personal harm. She got that it was all a joke, and that it was very, very funny.
And she loved me for making her laugh.
I stared at her and my heart almost burst with the realization that anything I would ever throw at her, Daniele was smart enough, and wise enough, to handle.
I think in that stupid, silly moment, I realized with a loud crash how connected we would be all our lives together. Our souls were stitched together like the heel of that old sock.
Daniele and I lived together a few years ago. She was my roommate, but also my best friend.
ReplyDeleteAfter I graduated from college I had split up w/ my highschool boyfriend of 7 years. I was depressed, and after the graduation ceremony I didn't shower or change out of my pajamas for an entire week.
After the 5th day or so Daniele kicked me and said "Hey you...yeah stinky...I'm talkin' to you. You need to get up and take a shower, take off the sweatpants and we're going to the bar."
Well, I still didn't want to leave the house. I was wallowing in self-pity among other thing so, we decided to put on a movie instead.
We had 2 laptop computers in the house at the time. We sat side by side surfing the 'net. I saw she was in a chatroom and asked her which chat room she was in.
Once I found out I promptly made a fake profile for this famous guitar player she had a huge crush on-complete with photos. All the while still sitting next to her.
I went into the chat room she was in and IM'd her and said "Hey. You look like the only cool person in here punkergrly. Wanna chat?"
Sitting next to her I could see her checking out my new profile and answering my IM.
"OMG. You'll never guess who I'm talking to online right now!" she says
"Who's that?" I would say...trying so hard to keep a straight face.
She enthusiastically showed me the chat so far and his profile.
"Whoa...that's totally insane! What are the chances of that??"
So this whole scenario went for another 15 mins or so. Daniele would type something into her chat box. I would sit next to her and try so hard not to laugh as I would type on my laptop almost immediately after her, waiting for her to catch on. (cont.)
Finally, amazed (as witty and sharp as she was) that I think I finally pulled a fast one over on Daniele, I told her the truth.
ReplyDeleteI let her know that it was me she was talking to the whole time.
She didn't get it. Not at first.
But I showed her my computer screen and when the realization that I just pulled a class act dupe over on her set in...she got this crazy look of realization in her eyes.
"OMG. You're a JERK! I think it's time for you to get out of the house now!"
She then proceeded to jump on me and pull me out of the apartment by my sweatpants while we laughed and giggled and wrestled and screamed our way all the way into the hallway.
She then jumped back into the apartment as fast as a cat and tried to push the door shut on me.
We caused quite a scene as she tried to keep me out, and I tried to push myself back in.
We laughed so hard we both thought we would faint.
I told her I couldn't be seen in these pants. Not even in the hallway of our low-income housing building where we were the only unit that spoke English. She would tell me she didn't care and I deserved to be seen in my ugly pants by Somalian immigrants after what I did to her.
Finally, I pushed my way back into the apartment, and we ended up on the floor of the living room crying and laughing until we thought we had the worlds worst headaches from lack of oxygen to our brains.
Well, you could say that got me out of my slump.
D. was always there to make me laugh when I needed her, and I'd like to think the relationship was mutual. Some of the best times of my life were spent in that little apartment w/ her.
I'll post some more about our crazy roommate debaucles. There's just so many.
Coming up next...axe parties, police, hardcore cider, and slayer.
Hugs to you, Athena ...
ReplyDeleteDaniele is one of the most prominently featured characters in my childhood. I remember "swimming" in the GIANT pile of leaves in the backyard. There was one Halloween where we said "trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat, if you don't I don't care, I'll pull down your underwear," to every house in a 4-block radius. We tried to make a hopscotch that went all the way around the block, and ran out of chalk. Daniele asked her mom once if I could spend the night for the second night in a row, and Rachel said, "y'now, she's been here for over 24 hours...I think her family misses her." I probably spent as much time at her house as I did at my own.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that we lost touch after my family moved out of the neighborhood, but I feel priveledged to have been part of her life.
I met her at Pizza Luce a few months ago...happy hour; I stopped in for a quick slice and a salad. We talked about beads.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know Daniele very well. We lived a few doors down, and I was out of the house and in college before I even saw her around much.
ReplyDeleteI remember showing up at the tea store she used to work at, which must have been around 2003, buying a bubble tea and being struck by how easy she was to talk to. She asked lots of questions, made me feel very comfortable and at ease. I frankly expected that a conversation with someone 10 years younger than me would kind of be the other way around. She had a strong presence, but it felt effortless, not affected.
I won't pretend to have known her. I wish I'd known her better.
You made her so happy that day that she bawled like a baby, Renee, and Jon. Few people crossed the line the way you did to show your love and acceptance. She did not feel worthy of that.
ReplyDeleteDaniele was a great friend to me. Anytime I needed her, she was there. We had a lot of laughs together. For the last 3 years she's been at my house for every holiday. It's not going to be the same without her. I will miss her.
ReplyDeleteIts hard for me to pick one specific story about Daniele. Whether it was Halloween, her fabulous birthday parties or trips to the dog park with Zeppo, there was never a bad time. I loved that fact that I could see Daniele whenever I was out, especially in uptown. She's the person that whenever I would see her we would run to each other, big hugs, smiles and laughs. I'd go for dinner at The Uptown or brunch at Luce to just be around her. No matter what was going on in either of our lives there was happiness being around each other. She's one of the only friends I have that I can say that about. There is hardly a place in Minneapolis that doesn't contain a memory of her. Of some random fun excursion or just somewhere I was so elated to see her at when I arrived. Knowing there were places I could go and be assured she'd be there was so comforting. She was there for me just for being her, and I'm not sure that she realized what it meant. There's not enough to say about how great she was to me, to everyone. There is so much in her I want to be. The way she speaks her mind, her incredible wit and ability to make everyone laugh. It is simply everything that is Daniele, and I can't think of a person that wasn't bettered by being friends with her. Its hard to imagine Minneapolis, and the world, without Daniele.
ReplyDeleteDaniele was an amazing person. She was always there for me, and could always brighten up my day. My fondest memories were of all us hanging out by the river. Just relaxing and loving life. I always admired her free, kind spirit. I have a lot of stories, but my mind is swimming with them, so it's hard to seperate them at the moment. ill write more later=) Thank you Mike and Rachel for letting us share our stories, and I loved your stories, it was vivid and made me smile=)
ReplyDeleteI first met Daniele on line. Her online name was Qwerty. Then I met her when she was with Berni.
ReplyDeleteAfter a year or so I went to watch Rev Phil play with a bunch of my friends at club underground.
During the evening I came up behind her thinking she was a friend of mine and swatted her on the but. She turned around and neither one of us recognized each other. She looked as if she was ready to kill me. (As she should have) I tried to explain but it was to late. The damage had been done. So I just got the hell out of that area.
As the night went on I had more then one friend that I had known for over twenty years or so come up and tell me they were supposed to kick my ass. We laughed but and I went back to her to apologize again and explained this is how my friends and I messed around and that I was married and nothing sexual was intended. But still. It was to late.
After talking to her online and numerous friends talking to her she finally decided that I was OK and I received forgiveness. I then brought the wife to Pizza Luce for breakfast so I could see her again and make sure I was on her good side once again. She was so nice to us and treated us so well.
She is a very strong individual and she will be missed. My best wishes to her family and all her friends. (Many of which are the same as mine)
She gave great hugs. I worked with her at Uptown Bar. I had a class right after work every Wed and it was very tight on the timing. She always got there early and offered to take care of everything so that I could leave with enough time to get to class. Her praise of my musical endevours is the one I cherish most. She saw many bands and of those many bands she told me we were her favorite in the time she worked at Uptown. Thank you for being so humorous, kind, and above all, supportive.
ReplyDeleteI met her through a local punk site where she needed a tap for a keg, I had one so I let her use it. She drove a distinct green caravan or voyager van. I was surprized when she returned the tap because people seldom do.
ReplyDeleteShe cracked me up.
When she needed another car, I sold her one on paymenst and she never messed up a payment.
She was cool and way too young and full of potential to be gone yesterday. It's sad.
Andrew A. aka Bo
I have a guinea pig named Linus, and I'm 52 years old. Linus is the third guinea pig I've had, after Burley, and after Alfalfa. These predecessors are the result of Danielle's guinea pig, Bomba. Because Danielle owned Bomba when she was roughly 9 years old, and I was elected to babysit Bomba while Danielle went on vacation with her family, I rekindled the love I had for my childhood guinea pig, "Charlie Brown",( whom I had wanted to name Tickleheart, but my mother wouldn't let me.) The experience of babysitting Danielle's guinea
ReplyDeletepig when I was around 35, and living in St. Paul, led to the enjoyment of the guinea pigs I've had since moving to Pennsylvania. Danielle, as her nine year old self so frequently comes to mind every time I hold Linus. I owe a very soothing and stress reducing part of my daily routine to Danielle Finley. I will think of her every day for the rest of my life.
I wish I had a story or a memory, but I feel I have a real and heartbreaking sense of your loss --and the lovely, lively girl you lost-- through the words of everyone here. Especially you, Mike. Thank you for sharing, and my heart goes out to all of you. As one of my personal heroes, Jim Dickinson, who was also lost to the world in the last week, liked to say, "Take care of yourself. And if you can, take care of someone else." I send you strength and love.
ReplyDeletei have to admit, she did give great hugs. i met Daniele about 6 years ago and we we're fast pals. dumb parties and foggy remembrances. honestly. if the parties were less fun, i'd have a lot more to write. i just don't remember a lot of the specifics. well, i remember some. i remember how she would show up at my door in the middle of the night knowing i'd be awake and we'd have a drink and talk for hours. i remember her chipping my tooth-- and I remember that fondly. i remember her being a hell of a friend that i sincerely regret falling out of contact with-- it deeply saddens me to think i didn't chat with her more when i could have. you never know when the days are being counted down.
ReplyDeleteand big thanks to her parents for making this forum possible. she really loved you guys. she told me that often. your loss is shared by far more than who post here. thank you.
I think the thing I loved best was running into Daniele by chance. She'd say hi or I'd say hi and she always got this "Awwww shucks" look on her face and look away. As if I'd paid her an extravagant compliment by knowing her. Then she'd turn back with a big smile on her face and a sarcastic comment about something and we'd be off. And I never saw Daniele for a few minutes we always talked for hours.
ReplyDeleteI was looking back through my texts with her and I found an exchange...I asked her what she'd done the day before and she said "Went for a walk and grabbed some beers with my dad...it was sweet." I don't remember anyone else ever describing hanging out with a parent as "sweet".
When I was down, Daniele was about the only person in my life I could count on to hang out with me and cheer me up. And I tried to cheer her up too. And I told her how important she was to me. I hope she believed me.
I put a drink on the board at Triple Rock for her once and she texted me "I'm considering drinking the shot on the board" "On the one hand I would like a delicious shot, on the other, I feel popular with my name on the board." More than anything else in the world, I'd like to get one more of her hugs. She gave hugs like a little kid...giving and getting candy at the same time. I love her.
Daniele and I lived together and we had a 7 1/2 foot long boa contrictor named Crimson.
ReplyDeleteCrimson got out of her cage once for a month and a half in our apartment building.
We decided not to tell anyone.
:)
I met daniele through Roy. The first time I really talked to her I was sitting with Roy and she came up to me and said " hey, lets go outside for a min." She then proceded to tell me that she liked me and didn't want to kick my ass. She said her and Roy were no longer dating, but any girl that got to close was gonna get a beat down. I understood how she felt. Daniele and i contuned to talk the rest of the night. From then on it was always good to see her with smiles and hugs. She will be missed...
ReplyDeleteI met Daniele through my younger brother in 1999 or 2000, she came to the tattoo shop by ex and I owned back then on Grand Avenue in Saint Paul...She did not get any tattoos (WAY to young then) but like so many of the teens, she liked looking at the stuff we sold and just hanging out...I left Minnesota to move to Massachusetts to do my Ph.D. in 2000 and she was at our going away party...I would not see her again until 2005 when I came back to live in Minnesota for a year as a visiting professor...We had some great times that year and stayed in contact first via myspace and then via facebook...She was witty and pure and fun and honourable and the world was better for her being in it...I will miss her!
ReplyDelete-Gypsy
I knew Daniele thru friends back in '99-'00, I used to call her 2-tone, her hair was always "2-tone" :)
ReplyDeleteWhen we started hanging out, I began to realize how artistic, creative, and just how authentic of a person she was...you don't find that in many people!!
She will definitely be missed...
My fondest memory is, on Thanksgiving, several years ago, my daughter and I came over to celebrate...we ate cheesy potatoes, and remembered how much shit I gave her back in the day. She is such a forgiving, and positive person, I, to this day, will forever remember that lesson that she, unknowingly passed on to me.
But...I was always mad that she didn't have 2 L's in her name like mine, that just wasn't right!!
Love, Ivy
I met Daniele at the TCPunk bookclub...she reminded me so much of how I was when I was her age...and I told her that...we made a connection...I drove her home that night...she showed me her apt. and wanted me to help her decorate it and gave me a book that she insisted I read..."The Princess Bride"...she couldn't believe that I had never read the book...She thought my grey cat's name was cool, so she named her dog after my Zeppo...I was hoping to see her again...mostly my fault for not being able to go out of my house...
ReplyDeleteA parent should not have to bury their child...I'm sorry for her family...my heart and deepest sympathies go out to all of you who have been touched by her life...
Gail Splinter
Thought I only knew Daniele through my son Tommy who lived with her on Lyndale Avenue a few years back Daniele’s spirit will live on, for we had the great fortune to adopt her cat Lucy. Like Daniele, Lucy brings a lot of Love to this world.
ReplyDeleteMarjorie-Lee Hane
Today is the day of Daniele’s funeral. I am twenty five years old. She was twenty four.
ReplyDeleteI met her at a party, she was just my kind of girl. I was eighteen, and had just broken up with my first serious girlfriend. Daniele was dark and loud and funny, and very, very, bright. I was drawn to her from across the room and introduced myself by saying,” I hate you.” All I can remember about our conversation that first night is how charming she was, and how much that got on my nerves. I was young and drunk and hurt, and angry at her, because she reminded me of the girl that broke my heart. As the party wound down, and everyone left or passed out, our conversation continued until it was just the two of us alone. Surrounded by party casualties and lost in each others company, we kissed. It was as sweet and innocent as two horribly torn, emotionally disfigured teenagers could have made it. We kissed and bit, mostly she bit. In my young drunk mind, she and my ex were one. I ended up making a fool of myself, and hurt her feelings. We laughed it off, and kissed some more. For the next several weeks we would be inseparable.
The next days that followed were a blur of stranger’s studio apartments, wandering the streets of Minneapolis, speed, reptiles, the sudden appearance of a new used car, a girl punk rampage through the freshman dorms, and strange lingering feelings of a soon to be repeating past. From those days one memory stands alone as one of my most treasured. A night spent listening to old jazz records in the dark while the summer breeze whispered through the open windows. I am an atheist, but in the stillness of those moments I felt god. I hope now that she finds the peace in death that I felt being alive with her in her room that night.
I helped her move out of her parents’ home and into her first apartment. She invited me to a party near her new place. We went, I got drunk. Much too drunk. I guess that I still resented women who I liked, because I spent most of the party chatting up some other girl. A girl who taught me French while I lost myself in drink. By the end of the party I was staggering around muttering broken French. Daniele had, most sensibly, left. She realized about seven years before I did that I had decided to make an ass out of myself that night. Years later we talked about it, and I found out that that night was the end of our romance. At the time I had tried to make it up to her with some flowers and a pack of Camel Wides. Looking back I see how that would never have been enough. She deserved better from me.
Two days later I got cancer, and she felt really awkward about dumping me.
We always joked about that. Not in the ribbing way of rehashing old wounds, or gently recalling slights against one another. It was the wisdom and perspective of deep old pains, old soldiers telling war stories, that would bring us to tears laughing.
She saw all of my bullshit for what it was. She called me on it. And she loved me anyway. She was a true friend, and I will miss her. In life and in death she has taught me so much about love and respect. I wish that she could be here, and I will do my best to try to honor her memory. One day at a time.
Someone passed this on to me:
ReplyDelete"Last Weds I went to the CC Club and I asked this guy next to me if he would toast Daniele. And he knew her and toasted her with water (because he had stopped drinking) and so did the bartender and I sipped my drink and put my head down on the bar and sobbed. And this guy I barely knew put his arm around me and held me until I was done.
"There is nothing in this world like the kindness of strangers - except of course the kindness of friends."
I never knew Daniele, but I did have one or two very brief encounters with her father years ago. A mutual friend named Barry told me of her passing. She deserved, obviously, a much longer chance than she allowed herself, and my sincere condolences to ALL her family members and to her friends. -- James Naiden 2012 Minneapolis
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